Tuesday, October 7, 2008

As Amber likes to say, "Can I get a Woot Woot?!"

Alright, sorry. I am just extremely happy that I FINALLY (4 months later) got all of my honeymoon pictures posted. Good-NESS. Now onto Wedding pictures! :o) Unfortunately, they are not on this computer, so I will have to wait until I get them up on my jump-drive. :o) I promise to try to get it done very soon though! :o)



Wow. A week from today, I have been married for four months. Where has the time gone? On one hand, it seems like it was only yesterday that I was running around freaking out, because there was a miscommunication and we all forgot my wedding dress at home. It was just hanging there, all lonely in the living room. :o) And here we are, four months later, already. On the other hand, it feels like we've been married forever. The days before we were married are slowly being forgotten, and sometimes it seems as though that time never existed. But it did. Oh, it did. :o)



So, what's different about being married, than living with your parents? (Sorry, I can't give you that whole angle on "what's different about being married, vs. living on your own". my feet never went down that road.) :o) Well, there's a lot. And people with the best of intentions always try to prepare you for what is coming, but you can't really fully understand what they mean, what they're really saying, until you're there, in it, living it. The cold, hard truth, people?



Marriage is hard.



Yes, all you wonderfully aged women, (Titus 2:3) and the younger, more recently married women, were right. I knew you were right. :o) I just couldn't fully understand it, as I was not yet there, not yet in it, living it. I fully appreciate every bit of advice that each of you gave me though. The time you took to try to prepare me for what lay ahead. Every time I'm in a new situation, someone's advice always comes back to me. I can't say that I always, willingly accept it, and follow it, but just know that your words stuck with me.



So, what's so hard about it, this marriage business?

1. I am very prideful. I'm stubborn, and I like having my way. I hate being TOLD what to do. ASKING is much better. I am desperately trying to work on this large character flaw. Submission isn't exactly my forte` and I hate that. My pride gets in the way of me submitting, and it's a constant battle with me. I need to learn to lean on the Lord more, and trust him if I'm ever going to beat this pride. I am getting better though, I promise. Step by step, day by day. Single girls, please work on this with your dad before you get married. It will help. I didn't believe it then, but it really will. :o)

2. I am lazy. Ask my parents. They'll tell you. :o) Remember that whole "I am the very definition of a procrastinator" thing? Yeah..... I wasn't lying. Ya know, it's just so frustrating to me, because while I'm at work all day, I am all pumped up and ready to go. I sit and wish I could be getting my laundry done. I wish I could be sweeping and mopping the floors. I wish I could be getting my kitchen to be sparkling clean. I wish I could be cooking; baking bread, getting dinner ready. There are so many things I WISH I could be doing, instead of sitting at a desk. Then, the second I get home, all I want to do is sit down and chill. The LAST thing I want to do is cook, and clean. It's terrible, and it frustrates me to no end. Then things don't get done, and then my husband is frustrated to no end, and rightly so.

Marriage is hard.

Ya know, I think by far the hardest thing that I have dealt with in marriage is money. I am not used to not being able to spend my money the way I want. Mrs. Suzie tried to tell me about this over and over, but I really didn't understand. I just kept thinking, oh it'll be fine, things will be different when I'm married. Girls, young ladies, those of you not yet married.....

It's not different when you're married.

Every man is different. Every man handles his money differently, and every man lets his wife spend it differently. But I'm telling you, unless you have a super easy going husband, who just makes a ton of money, chances are, you're not going to be able to spend money any way you like. And it becomes frustrating. Until you learn to deal with it and move on. I'm getting there. these oh-so-bad habits of singleness can be a little overwhelming at times! :o)

In any situation though, don't think it's going to be different when you're married, because it's not. You still have the same thoughts, the same attitudes, as you did before you were married. The "different" only lasts for a little while. Trust me, you settle into a routine, you get comfortable, and suddenly, it's not different anymore. You're still thinking and acting the same as you did before you were married. It takes work, so be prepared to work at everything you do. Marriage is change. And change doesn't always come easy. You have to adjust, and get used to new things.

I don't know what I was expecting when I got married, but let me tell you, it isn't that. :o) It is completely different than what I was expecting. Not BAD, just DIFFERENT. And that's ok.

Hmm, this post may be coming across a little weird. I do not hate marriage, people. I love being married. I love my husband. I love being able to say that I love my husband. I have a husband. :o) Yes, we certainly have our bad days. But what would we be without them? The bad days are what shape us, what teach us things, so that we can outnumber the bad days with good ones. And trust me, the good days far outweigh the bad days. :o)

I hope you all are having a wonderful afternoon. Take care,
Kassandra.

3 comments:

blondevue... said...

Well written.
And yes, the women do remind us all the time that it won't be different, that our thoughts will be the same. It makes me want to work harder on it all now, before I wish I had worked on it more.
You did a good job of showing your faults honestly. It would be hard for me to do that on here, but now your going to be held more accountable by everyone. :)
Not that you weren't already. Since we all know you. We just aren't posting our faults here online. :) (Their glaring enough for me in person...) =0\
Love and Praying for you, See you tomorrow.
Tori

Anonymous said...

Kass you said it perfectly, the bad days shape our lives and the good days out number the bad ones. I was just thinking the other day how nice it is to be married and how it is hard at the same time. Don't worry, after almost 3 years of marriage I am still as much a newly wed as I was the first day. I just know what I am allowed and not allowed to do. Jared is an easy going man and I love him for that. But we compliment eachother because we are opposites. I am uptight and worry all the time, Jared is laid back and easy going. So it works for us. We are happy in our love and Thank God each day for bring us together. It takes time to learn and in a marriage you have a life time of learning to do. I look at it like it takes 4 years to get your BA look how long it takes to say you know everything about marriage. My grandparents just hit their 50th year that says enough right there.

Love you girly and hang in there it get's better and harder all at the same time. Wait till you throw a kid in there.
amber

Anonymous said...

Good post. :O)